Moons and Groceries and Bangs, Oh My!

Walking out of Walmart at 6pm – full dark – on a Friday:

8 – *howls at moon*

Me – Must you?

8 – *shrugs* On Fridays, we howl at the moon, Mom.

Of course we do…..


Unloading groceries after dark:

9 – Why do we have to help?

Me – Do you plan on eating this week?

8 – She’s just scared of the clowns.

Me – ……

9 – *glares accusingly*

Me – ……

9 – If you watched the news, you would KNOW that there are killer clowns out there. Since last year! They never caught them! And they’re just waiting to GET me! And you want me to bring stuff in the house? At DARK??? Pfft. You ARE crazy!

Me – Last year?

8 – Yep.

Me – Mmm hmm. But isn’t it THIS year, now?

9 – *rolls eyes* You know nothing!

Me – *shrugs* Fair enough. So you’ll be sleeping in the car then? Since you won’t be walking from the driveway to the front door in the dark? Not even with your family to protect you?

9 – ……

Me – ……

9 – I. Hate. You.

Me – Love you, Boo. Grab that bag, yeah?


9 – Can you cut my hair?

Me – Now?

9 – No. Yesterday.

Me – ……..

9 – Yes. NOW!

Me – How do you want it?

9 – I told you – CUT.

Me – Say no more. *grabs hair scissors*

*Fifteen minutes later*

9 – *crying* I’m HIDEOUS!!!

Me – They’re just bangs….

9 – But I didn’t want bangs!

Me – Then, probably, you shouldn’t have jerked your head when I specifically asked you to hold still.

9 – I. Hate. You.

8 – Mom, you get that alot.

Welcome to my world, kid.


*After school*

8 – Mom, can I get the mail?

Me – Yep. Thanks, kid.

8 – You’re welcome, Mama Mia.

*A few minutes later*

Me – *Hears howling, from outside* Not again…

9 – He’s practicing.

Me – For???

9 – The full moon. Duh.

Me – *goes outside to drag my wild weirdling indoors* Kid! Really?

8 – I need to practice my new howl, Mom. *Howls*

Me – The neighbors don’t need to hear you, pal. Inside, please.

8 – *shrugs* I’ll howl for them, too.

And this is, yet another reason, why the neighbors LOVE us.

And why I love wine…

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