Best Laid Plans

When I woke up this morning, I had EVERY intention of being productive.

Nevermind that I was catching some weird ass vibes, and somehow, I just KNEW that today was gonna be a massively disappointing, emotionally draining, physically and mentally haywire kind of day;

The Danger Will Robinson,

Turn Back Now,

Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here,

MAYDAY, MAYDAY!!

Kind of vibes….Nope. Ain’t nobody got time for that, so here I come with my Outta My Way! attitude, my Think Positive Or Drown In The Negative outlook, ready to kick some Sunday ass!

One would think that by now, I would know better. One can also probably hear the gods laughing at me.

I was up at the crack of dawn, and needed to go shopping to pick up supplies for a cookout later this afternoon, that I had spontaneously invited friends to yesterday.

Instead, I did laundry until 9:00am. And then when I really WAS gonna be at the store by 10:00am, 9 threw a massive temper tantrum that positively astounded and drained me. So, I had another cup of coffee, and regrouped, instead.

By 10:30, 8’s older sister (he’d been on a spend the night with his niece and nephew at her house), had gotten in touch, and my plans were slightly derailed again with the pick up /drop off…but that’s ok, cause I had house chores to do, and the store could wait another hour…

Fast forward two and a half hours, and I’m meeting his sister inside Wal-Mart, because at this point, I have somewhere between 5 and 10 guests arriving in less than four hours, and absolutely CANNOT put off my shopping any longer.

We’re home by 2pm, and I finish a couple of correspondences that I have been trying to force myself to keep up with. And it’s all good. For one kinda fantastic half hour, give or take, I actually had my shit together. All of it.

And then, as it does, life happened. And not just to me, either.

I went from an uncertain number of guests, to one, because, again, LIFE HAPPENS.

Still though, the kids and I are all in the mood for a grilled burger, so I lit the charcoal in the grill. And then realized that I could not find the actual GRILL part – you know, the flat, slatty, metal thingy that you lay the meat on??? It’s gone. GONE. Hell if I know where.

And then, because that wasn’t enough of a hint that my plans were not going to turn out, and that the universe was indeed laughing at me, I chanced a look at the charcoal smoldering away in the chacoal pan of my sad little grill, and saw The Hole.

The big ass chunk of NOTHIN that’s NOT where I laid down the charcoal, which is also NOT THERE.

Cause, it’s on the ground. Of course. Because THAT’S EXACTLY where the middle of the charcoal pan goes.

You all, the bottom quite literally fell out of my plans…which, coincidentally, is quite a good description of my life up to this point.

Which brings me back to those weird ass vibes I mentioned earlier….Sometimes, just somtimes, there is no “fixing” a day – when Chaos comes knocking, it’s best to just sit yourself down, strap the Hell in, and ride that shit out. Afterall, as Frost said, the only way out is through. And sometimes, all the good intentions, positive affirmations, mindfulness exercises, and sage in the WORLD won’t save you from Chaos when she saunters up, stilettos clacking, and decides that it’s Your turn to amuse her.

So, good luck. Probably, once the full moon is passed, things will start to settle down. But just in case they don’t, if you keep a bottle of wine stashed for emergencies, go ahead and crack that sucker open. This is it. Cheers, and Happy Full Moon.

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